diff --git a/app/controllers/api/v1/accounts/credentials_controller.rb b/app/controllers/api/v1/accounts/credentials_controller.rb
index b90036a5cd9..2efe35c1e69 100644
--- a/app/controllers/api/v1/accounts/credentials_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/api/v1/accounts/credentials_controller.rb
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ class Api::V1::Accounts::CredentialsController < Api::BaseController
     @account = current_account
     UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, account_params, raise_error: true)
     current_user.update(user_params) if user_params
-    ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+    ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
     render json: @account, serializer: REST::CredentialAccountSerializer
   rescue ActiveRecord::RecordInvalid => e
     render json: ValidationErrorFormatter.new(e).as_json, status: 422
diff --git a/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/avatars_controller.rb b/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/avatars_controller.rb
index e6c954ed634..abd5a6d1689 100644
--- a/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/avatars_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/avatars_controller.rb
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ class Api::V1::Profile::AvatarsController < Api::BaseController
   def destroy
     @account = current_account
     UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, { avatar: nil }, raise_error: true)
-    ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+    ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
     render json: @account, serializer: REST::CredentialAccountSerializer
   end
 end
diff --git a/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/headers_controller.rb b/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/headers_controller.rb
index 4472a01b05a..29b3dcdf846 100644
--- a/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/headers_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/api/v1/profile/headers_controller.rb
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ class Api::V1::Profile::HeadersController < Api::BaseController
   def destroy
     @account = current_account
     UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, { header: nil }, raise_error: true)
-    ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+    ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
     render json: @account, serializer: REST::CredentialAccountSerializer
   end
 end
diff --git a/app/controllers/settings/pictures_controller.rb b/app/controllers/settings/pictures_controller.rb
index 7e61e6d5804..2a07608dbdb 100644
--- a/app/controllers/settings/pictures_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/settings/pictures_controller.rb
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ module Settings
     def destroy
       if valid_picture?
         if UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, { @picture => nil, "#{@picture}_remote_url" => '' })
-          ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+          ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
           redirect_to settings_profile_path, notice: I18n.t('generic.changes_saved_msg'), status: 303
         else
           redirect_to settings_profile_path
diff --git a/app/controllers/settings/privacy_controller.rb b/app/controllers/settings/privacy_controller.rb
index 96efa03ccf7..245ec0b6617 100644
--- a/app/controllers/settings/privacy_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/settings/privacy_controller.rb
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ class Settings::PrivacyController < Settings::BaseController
   def update
     if UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, account_params.except(:settings))
       current_user.update!(settings_attributes: account_params[:settings])
-      ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+      ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
       redirect_to settings_privacy_path, notice: I18n.t('generic.changes_saved_msg')
     else
       render :show
diff --git a/app/controllers/settings/profiles_controller.rb b/app/controllers/settings/profiles_controller.rb
index efd8eb1440b..39840f95b6d 100644
--- a/app/controllers/settings/profiles_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/settings/profiles_controller.rb
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ class Settings::ProfilesController < Settings::BaseController
 
   def update
     if UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, account_params)
-      ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+      ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
       redirect_to settings_profile_path, notice: I18n.t('generic.changes_saved_msg')
     else
       @account.build_fields
diff --git a/app/controllers/settings/verifications_controller.rb b/app/controllers/settings/verifications_controller.rb
index 4b949ca72df..9c7b7739407 100644
--- a/app/controllers/settings/verifications_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/settings/verifications_controller.rb
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ class Settings::VerificationsController < Settings::BaseController
 
   def update
     if UpdateAccountService.new.call(@account, account_params)
-      ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.perform_in(ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker::DEBOUNCE_DELAY, @account.id)
+      ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker.distribute(@account)
       redirect_to settings_verification_path, notice: I18n.t('generic.changes_saved_msg')
     else
       render :show
diff --git a/app/lib/activitypub/activity/create.rb b/app/lib/activitypub/activity/create.rb
index c47c2afc523..d49a6af1c0f 100644
--- a/app/lib/activitypub/activity/create.rb
+++ b/app/lib/activitypub/activity/create.rb
@@ -3,6 +3,9 @@
 class ActivityPub::Activity::Create < ActivityPub::Activity
   include FormattingHelper
 
+  DISTRIBUTE_DELAY = 1.minute
+  PROCESSING_DELAY = (30.seconds)..(10.minutes)
+
   def perform
     @account.schedule_refresh_if_stale!
 
@@ -73,7 +76,7 @@ class ActivityPub::Activity::Create < ActivityPub::Activity
 
   def distribute
     # Spread out crawling randomly to avoid DDoSing the link
-    LinkCrawlWorker.perform_in(rand(1..59).seconds, @status.id)
+    LinkCrawlWorker.perform_in(rand(DISTRIBUTE_DELAY), @status.id)
 
     # Distribute into home and list feeds and notify mentioned accounts
     ::DistributionWorker.perform_async(@status.id, { 'silenced_account_ids' => @silenced_account_ids }) if @options[:override_timestamps] || @status.within_realtime_window?
@@ -303,7 +306,7 @@ class ActivityPub::Activity::Create < ActivityPub::Activity
         media_attachment.download_thumbnail!
         media_attachment.save
       rescue Mastodon::UnexpectedResponseError, *Mastodon::HTTP_CONNECTION_ERRORS
-        RedownloadMediaWorker.perform_in(rand(30..600).seconds, media_attachment.id)
+        RedownloadMediaWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), media_attachment.id)
       rescue Seahorse::Client::NetworkingError => e
         Rails.logger.warn "Error storing media attachment: #{e}"
         RedownloadMediaWorker.perform_async(media_attachment.id)
@@ -348,7 +351,7 @@ class ActivityPub::Activity::Create < ActivityPub::Activity
     end
 
     increment_voters_count! unless already_voted
-    ActivityPub::DistributePollUpdateWorker.perform_in(3.minutes, replied_to_status.id) unless replied_to_status.preloadable_poll.hide_totals?
+    ActivityPub::DistributePollUpdateWorker.distribute(replied_to_status) unless replied_to_status.preloadable_poll.hide_totals?
   end
 
   def resolve_thread(status)
@@ -359,7 +362,7 @@ class ActivityPub::Activity::Create < ActivityPub::Activity
 
   def resolve_unresolved_mentions(status)
     @unresolved_mentions.uniq.each do |uri|
-      MentionResolveWorker.perform_in(rand(30...600).seconds, status.id, uri, { 'request_id' => @options[:request_id] })
+      MentionResolveWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), status.id, uri, { 'request_id' => @options[:request_id] })
     end
   end
 
@@ -382,7 +385,7 @@ class ActivityPub::Activity::Create < ActivityPub::Activity
     embedded_quote = safe_prefetched_embed(@account, @status_parser.quoted_object, @json['context'])
     ActivityPub::VerifyQuoteService.new.call(@quote, fetchable_quoted_uri: @quote_uri, prefetched_quoted_object: embedded_quote, request_id: @options[:request_id], depth: @options[:depth])
   rescue Mastodon::RecursionLimitExceededError, Mastodon::UnexpectedResponseError, *Mastodon::HTTP_CONNECTION_ERRORS
-    ActivityPub::RefetchAndVerifyQuoteWorker.perform_in(rand(30..600).seconds, @quote.id, @quote_uri, { 'request_id' => @options[:request_id] })
+    ActivityPub::RefetchAndVerifyQuoteWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), @quote.id, @quote_uri, { 'request_id' => @options[:request_id] })
   end
 
   def conversation_from_uri(uri)
diff --git a/app/services/activitypub/process_account_service.rb b/app/services/activitypub/process_account_service.rb
index 201f7513b9b..b18d7c296a7 100644
--- a/app/services/activitypub/process_account_service.rb
+++ b/app/services/activitypub/process_account_service.rb
@@ -9,6 +9,9 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessAccountService < BaseService
   SUBDOMAINS_RATELIMIT = 10
   DISCOVERIES_PER_REQUEST = 400
 
+  PROCESSING_DELAY = (30.seconds)..(10.minutes)
+  VERIFY_DELAY = 10.minutes
+
   VALID_URI_SCHEMES = %w(http https).freeze
 
   # Should be called with confirmed valid JSON
@@ -142,13 +145,13 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessAccountService < BaseService
       @account.avatar_remote_url = image_url('icon') || '' unless skip_download?
       @account.avatar = nil if @account.avatar_remote_url.blank?
     rescue Mastodon::UnexpectedResponseError, *Mastodon::HTTP_CONNECTION_ERRORS
-      RedownloadAvatarWorker.perform_in(rand(30..600).seconds, @account.id)
+      RedownloadAvatarWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), @account.id)
     end
     begin
       @account.header_remote_url = image_url('image') || '' unless skip_download?
       @account.header = nil if @account.header_remote_url.blank?
     rescue Mastodon::UnexpectedResponseError, *Mastodon::HTTP_CONNECTION_ERRORS
-      RedownloadHeaderWorker.perform_in(rand(30..600).seconds, @account.id)
+      RedownloadHeaderWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), @account.id)
     end
     @account.statuses_count    = outbox_total_items    if outbox_total_items.present?
     @account.following_count   = following_total_items if following_total_items.present?
@@ -194,7 +197,7 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessAccountService < BaseService
   end
 
   def check_links!
-    VerifyAccountLinksWorker.perform_in(rand(10.minutes.to_i), @account.id)
+    VerifyAccountLinksWorker.perform_in(rand(VERIFY_DELAY), @account.id)
   end
 
   def process_duplicate_accounts!
diff --git a/app/services/activitypub/process_status_update_service.rb b/app/services/activitypub/process_status_update_service.rb
index 362be0c8772..a4d2da14489 100644
--- a/app/services/activitypub/process_status_update_service.rb
+++ b/app/services/activitypub/process_status_update_service.rb
@@ -5,6 +5,9 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessStatusUpdateService < BaseService
   include Redisable
   include Lockable
 
+  CRAWL_DELAY = 1.minute
+  PROCESSING_DELAY = (30.seconds)..(10.minutes)
+
   def call(status, activity_json, object_json, request_id: nil)
     raise ArgumentError, 'Status has unsaved changes' if status.changed?
 
@@ -122,7 +125,7 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessStatusUpdateService < BaseService
       media_attachment.download_thumbnail! if media_attachment.thumbnail_remote_url_previously_changed?
       media_attachment.save
     rescue Mastodon::UnexpectedResponseError, *Mastodon::HTTP_CONNECTION_ERRORS
-      RedownloadMediaWorker.perform_in(rand(30..600).seconds, media_attachment.id)
+      RedownloadMediaWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), media_attachment.id)
     rescue Seahorse::Client::NetworkingError => e
       Rails.logger.warn "Error storing media attachment: #{e}"
     end
@@ -247,7 +250,7 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessStatusUpdateService < BaseService
 
     # Queue unresolved mentions for later
     unresolved_mentions.uniq.each do |uri|
-      MentionResolveWorker.perform_in(rand(30...600).seconds, @status.id, uri, { 'request_id' => @request_id })
+      MentionResolveWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), @status.id, uri, { 'request_id' => @request_id })
     end
   end
 
@@ -327,7 +330,7 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessStatusUpdateService < BaseService
     embedded_quote = safe_prefetched_embed(@account, @status_parser.quoted_object, @activity_json['context'])
     ActivityPub::VerifyQuoteService.new.call(quote, fetchable_quoted_uri: quote_uri, prefetched_quoted_object: embedded_quote, request_id: @request_id)
   rescue Mastodon::UnexpectedResponseError, *Mastodon::HTTP_CONNECTION_ERRORS
-    ActivityPub::RefetchAndVerifyQuoteWorker.perform_in(rand(30..600).seconds, quote.id, quote_uri, { 'request_id' => @request_id })
+    ActivityPub::RefetchAndVerifyQuoteWorker.perform_in(rand(PROCESSING_DELAY), quote.id, quote_uri, { 'request_id' => @request_id })
   end
 
   def update_counts!
@@ -385,7 +388,7 @@ class ActivityPub::ProcessStatusUpdateService < BaseService
 
   def reset_preview_card!
     @status.reset_preview_card!
-    LinkCrawlWorker.perform_in(rand(1..59).seconds, @status.id)
+    LinkCrawlWorker.perform_in(rand(CRAWL_DELAY), @status.id)
   end
 
   def broadcast_updates!
diff --git a/app/services/vote_service.rb b/app/services/vote_service.rb
index 878350388b8..cb5c0525ff6 100644
--- a/app/services/vote_service.rb
+++ b/app/services/vote_service.rb
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ class VoteService < BaseService
   def distribute_poll!
     return if @poll.hide_totals?
 
-    ActivityPub::DistributePollUpdateWorker.perform_in(3.minutes, @poll.status.id)
+    ActivityPub::DistributePollUpdateWorker.distribute(@poll.status)
   end
 
   def queue_final_poll_check!
diff --git a/app/workers/activitypub/distribute_poll_update_worker.rb b/app/workers/activitypub/distribute_poll_update_worker.rb
index 8c1eefd93d5..ab6485737e3 100644
--- a/app/workers/activitypub/distribute_poll_update_worker.rb
+++ b/app/workers/activitypub/distribute_poll_update_worker.rb
@@ -4,6 +4,8 @@ class ActivityPub::DistributePollUpdateWorker
   include Sidekiq::Worker
   include Payloadable
 
+  PROCESSING_DELAY = 3.minutes
+
   sidekiq_options queue: 'push', lock: :until_executed, retry: 0
 
   def perform(status_id)
@@ -21,6 +23,10 @@ class ActivityPub::DistributePollUpdateWorker
     true
   end
 
+  def self.distribute(status)
+    perform_in(PROCESSING_DELAY, status.id)
+  end
+
   private
 
   def relayable?
diff --git a/app/workers/activitypub/update_distribution_worker.rb b/app/workers/activitypub/update_distribution_worker.rb
index 9a418f0f3d8..82320345a86 100644
--- a/app/workers/activitypub/update_distribution_worker.rb
+++ b/app/workers/activitypub/update_distribution_worker.rb
@@ -16,6 +16,10 @@ class ActivityPub::UpdateDistributionWorker < ActivityPub::RawDistributionWorker
     true
   end
 
+  def self.distribute(account)
+    perform_in(DEBOUNCE_DELAY, account.id)
+  end
+
   protected
 
   def inboxes